hair

in the news

Mar

HAIR NEWS:

There’s been lots this week. All kinds. Hair of the head, and of the face.

Magic hands shaved me without the guard this time. MB offered to shave it to the skin, but I declined. Because have you ever been outside in the wind in 30• weather without hair??

And we found LegoManiac under the walking, computing, gaming mop in our house.

Of course, the real scene stealer around here is

The Walrus.

You were probably hoping for the Pope. That happened too. I just don’t have any lovely images to share with you about that. (Although his car has such a big sunroof, we could call it the Walrusmobile.) Go ahead and tell us what you really think it looks like, because a stache like this, invites ALL kinds of commentary. And facetime laughter. So far he’s been called a pirate, a constable, a circus strongman, an old timey villain. It’s actually surprising how many different things come up and they all work. The kids of course, prefer to call it a Harry Hider. Thanks to the Aquabats.

Also of note this week, progress on the home front. We talked to a realtor and got our home repairs lined up. Want to buy our house next month?

A bit of unexpected and strange news when we received a letter from Fair-haired Warrior’s teacher that today is her last day teaching. They have a new teacher ready to start, but it was such short notice, we’re still trying to figure out just what happened.

Science news: finally i can take a break from all of the twisting and separating.

In another rash of INCONVENIENT TECHNOLOGY NEWS: Google reader is shutting down. GRRRRRR. Decline in use they say. I say, “eat my fist.” Actually, I just looked to Feedly, which I use on my phone, and luckily they’re pouncing on the opportunity with the development of Feedly Normandy. I’ve already switched over. It was truly seamless, and I hate to bad mouth the big G, but feedly is a helluva lot cooler to look at, design wise. My own little magazine of lifestyles I will never live up to.

And I’ve saved the best for last:

VERONICA MARS THE MOVIE

You know I take my shows seriously, and VM has been one of my favorites. Would I steer you wrong about something like your personal viewing? No, I would not. I value your time too much. But back to the news, VM has launched a kickstarter campaign. The largest (for film) Kickstarter ever. And in the first day, they surpassed their goal and the fans keep pledging their money. Because next year, you will see me rocking my own VM tee and holding my copy of the movie. Cause I totally donated. I cannot tell you the happy giddy little moments I have had this week about this development. This is my life people. I should be embarrassed, but no, I check that site 3 times a day watching the $$ roll in. You should head over and watch their fun promo, corny, yet classic. Rumors confirm Wallace is in for sure. I’ve still got my fingers crossed for Mac. Do you have a fave?

And that brings us to Friday. Today. CC will be rolling in this evening and the schedule is full. Full of Food. Burgatory, Smoke, Park Brugge. Fries and shakes, bakeries, tacos, mac&cheese. And then I will literally roll into Monday. A fattened and happy Angry Baker. Happy #eateverythingweekend!

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Splitting Hairs

Sep

I am having a reaction right now. And Sel, you’re totally going to know why.

What is it with women and their hair? I don’t get it. I really don’t. There’s an almost disney princess obsession with length, regardless of whether you have nice hair or not. It must be long! We want long hair! Right? Um, no. There’s actually a substantial percentage of us that don’t.

Long hair does not make you a woman, and short hair does not make you a lesbian.

It’s 2012 people, and women have jobs and go to space and develop cures for diseases. Surprise! And yet, the suggestion of cutting your hair sends people into a feminine frenzy of bad advice and issue-related motivation. No, don’t cut it! I can almost hear the lilting mews of desperation. It’s as if you suggested cutting off a limb and altering your physical appearance forever. Seriously, let a girl make a decision without heaping centuries of feminine mystique on her. It is hair. It grows. You’re actually only in charge of your own, not everyone else. Last I heard, it really was only Samson that had anything to worry about around scissors.

I dunno, maybe it’s just me, but all I can see is a bunch of crabs in a bucket.

{ 12 comments }

To the Extreme

May

I rock the mic like a vandal. But I’m also rockin a new ‘do that Magic Hands proclaimed blog worthy. We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy. I need to take pictures with a real camera, but these will work for now.

I went in with visions of pale lavender hair, but came out with some major contrast. Magic Hands had me at “you’ve NEVER done black before.” And we were both afraid another round of bleach would make my hair fall out of my head. Not that I have much left. I like it when i exercise and put it a little samurai top knot. My kids enjoy pointing and laughing at the sight as well.

Can you see my birth mark on the left? I always forget I have that. What about my eye make up, can you see that? Cause I know sometimes it’s so faint and natural…

{ 9 comments }

Got Hair Goals?

Sep

Remember I told you guys a while ago that you’re supposed to have hair goals? Well, you should. Even if it’s just a plan to let your hair grow until it all falls out. Life is about anticipation, so get some.

Here is my current goal (please pray it does not change before my next visit to MH):

◀this cut and

▶this color

I also plan to walk around topless, so I too, can show off my awesome clavicles. But first, I have to work on my quantum physics homework. As I always say, put your brains before your beauty, girls.

{ 15 comments }

Loudly Vague

Jul

I’m such a victim. Really. It’s not my fault.

It’s not my fault that Magic Hands convinced me to get feathers. Even though I know they are super trendy. Even though I know how much strippers love feathers. Even though Maxine asked if I had worms in my hair.

Orange. On fire. My hair is on fire. I like it.

But I have to make some confessions. I’m looking for a change. I flipped through The Sartorialist’s book the other day and loved his expression ‘Loudly Vague’ for androgynous styling. It is my favorite, and has been for a while. But I’m ready to be more feminine and so I promised Magic Hands no more mohawking my hair. It’s time to revamp.

We’ve talked hair goals. Ladies, you should always have hair goals. Just do it.

So we’re going softer and I’m back on the long and winding road of trying to grow it out. Length is what we’re working towards now. MH had to reign me in when I wanted to shave steps in the back of my head. No more. Must go boring. Must try to recapture the the double X.

I think I can. I think I can.

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Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Jun

Here it is friends, the many hairs of my last 5 years. I’m missing the first asymmetrical haircut MH gave me. Hmm. Don’t know where those pics went. My haircuts are like my kids; I may get them confused, but I remember them all. Do you see the one shot towards the bottom/middle, I am wearing a blue kimono top and a beaded necklace….found it? Well that, I believe, is the natural color of my hair. It’s been a while. I suppose looking at this mess I realize why MB and his boss keep suggesting a clandestine life for me. At least a gig as a P.I. or something.

I am so glad that I have Magic Hands to feed my hair addiction. Enablers are the best.

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I Demand Satisfaction

May

I’m about to drag my mother, BEB, into the court of public opinion.

It started with my post from yesterday. Not the post, the picture I posted that included an edited digit. I was just playing up on the in-your-face hair cut. Oh, and MB is to blame as well. He said that was definitely the picture to use.

Upon arrival home from my weekend conference, enlightened and encouraged by my powerful and passionate liberal ladies I received an email from my mom. The subject read, “Are you having an early mid-life crisis?” And here is what she wrote:

Do you remember when I took your brother out to the balcony and sheared him back into conformity in Thailand? I am sad that I cannot intervene in such a direct manner with you and that peacock . What is up? I am serious. I am all about it’s hair and it will grow back, however this looks exactly like you ARE flipping off the world. I think you need some excitement and color in your life. I am praying you find it so you won’t have to wear it. Most of all I am praying you will tell me whats going on with you. I love you but not your peacock, Mom

Keep in mind that I know that my mom tends to write knee-jerk response emails. Also, keep in mind that I just extolled her virtues about not interfering with my fashion/hair life at above mentioned conference. [click to continue…]

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Sunday Threads: Angrier Edition

May

Okay, this is all about hair. Brooklyn Girl, I got me some blue.

It looks navy right now, but it’ll lighten up. There’s some green and purple too. Remember how I said I wanted peacock? Well, Magic Hands took me very seriously. If you think you hate it, you might want to have a chat with ~~my dad~~ my mom. I can guarantee you she hates it more:) Here’s the 360:

Update: Out of deference to my mother, I have changed the picture. It remains undetermined if we will engage in blogging warfare.

{ 11 comments }

Anticipation

May

I love having something to look forward to, and since the beach escapade it’s been pretty boring around here.

Never fear. Something wicked this way comes.

1. A visit with Magic Hands is on the agenda for this afternoon, which means artificial color will grace my head. I’m hoping a nice shade of peacock will perk me up.

2. Butter salted caramels. Better than crack.

3. A round of dancing to loud music with Dutch. Booties need to shake. Shake it baby, shake it.

4. Road trip. Without kids. With some of the heretics. To the apostate conference. Woo hoo! A title like “Midwest Pilgrims” sounds wholesome enough. But I’ve been around the block a few times ladies. Liberal women with big mouths and big intellects. Bring it on. I can’t wait to rub shoulders with these thinkers – let’s hope it sticks. Also, let’s hope I don’t say anything too awkward or reveal my not-fit-for-Mensa IQ.

Mwahha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

{ 4 comments }

Dear Angry Baker: Extreme Hair

Apr

I’ve decided to take a break from the beach torture. Let’s check the mail.

Dear Angry Baker,

So I got an extreme haircut. I didn’t shave it all off a la yourself, but I shaved about 80 percent of my head. I LOVE IT. Its versatile, crazy, a little angry, everything about it I love, but because the style resides squarely OUTSIDE the Mormon culture norm, I do get some interesting reactions from fellow Ward members. Most of which go along with the question, “What does your daughter think?” which is just a Mormon-subtle way of saying “What would Jesus do?” and all the judging and condescension that question comes with. I usually answer that she loves it – she even asked why I didn’t get a full-fledged mow hawk – but the badly hidden looks of disgust still reside from “friends”.

I have days of regret, and days of completely LOVING the haircut. In reaction to the negative comments I get angry and am tempted to get a scalp tattoo just to stir the pot, then disgust with myself for letting it all get to me in the first place.

Did you have the same feelings when you went “all in” with the clippers? What was your conclusion? I guess I’m just looking for some inner monologue you’re willing to share on your haircut experience, and various reactions. This is new territory for me.

Shorn [click to continue…]

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