It’s really bugging me. I couldn’t sleep last night and my mind wandered back to that phrase I encountered earlier in the day. I’ve heard it, seen it on cute little posters, and possibly even a bumper sticker? “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.” Thanks. Thanks a lot. That’s me. I’ve wasted my life and now you know that I do nothing but clean my house all day and I am not a person of value. You know why it offends me? (yes you do, but I’m winding up here) It completely minimizes the effort I make on a daily basis to keep my house clean. I work my ass off and I’m pretty much the only person that appreciates my mind-numbing job. It implies not only that I have no life outside of cleaning but that people with unclean houses have awesome, interesting lives. I’ve been a CPS worker and I know that is certainly not true. “A messy house is a sign of a lazy person.” See? Smarts doesn’t it? Because it’s not true. It’s not true about you and it’s not true about me.
So what if my house is clean? I didn’t do it to make you feel bad. I did it because I like to have a clean house. I can think more clearly, I can relax more, I can focus on my other projects (oh wait – I don’t have any of those do I?). I get a lot of comments on my house situation, well-intended and just plain snide. My favorite was someone who said, “It doesn’t look like children live here.” It was not a compliment. It was dripping with accusation. I let it drop, but obviously it bothered me. What I should have done was march Miss Priss right up to my kids’ bedroom to prove my innocence. Unfortunately I knew she wouldn’t be able to see them under the clothes, toys, drawings, books, and Styrofoam peanuts. I suppose she will go on thinking I follow my stepford children around picking up everything they discard and putting them in their straight jackets when they think about using their toys. It is MY house after all.
I know, I know. I get the sentiment. I know that in the grand scheme of life a clean house doesn’t count for much. I know my children are more important than dust bunnies. I also know that people with messy houses are some of the greatest people in existence. I married a slob and I love him even though he tries to cover every single flat surface with his belongings. I know I’ve got some OCD/anxiety/control stuff going on. (I fit right in with the people over at iamneurotic.com). I am embarrassed to admit being organized is my talent. The one thing I know how to do very well. I could fill a book with cleaning and organizing tips. How lame is that? I don’t sing, I don’t play an instrument, I’m not particularly athletic, I’m certainly not artistic. (Like I’m going to parade this one around, maybe take it on the road? I could choreograph a routine set to music; perhaps a pop-up office set or toy room? My catchphrase, “Step aside, watch me organize!”) On the day we all got our assignments I was at the back of the line. “Sorry Angry Baker. All we have left is Organizing. But you’re going to love it!” Seriously? Organizing? Wow.
The irony of all of this is that I never wanted to be this way. This is the way of my mother. This isn’t news to her, I’m pretty sure she would readily admit that she warped me. She is a therapist after all. The houses I grew up in were clean. I can still hear my petulant 16 year old self, “Why don’t you want it to look like people LIVE here?” The running joke amongst my brothers and I was that the “living room” really should have been called the dying room because she would kill you if she caught you in there. My brothers loved nothing more than to sneak in after she had vacuumed (leaving perfect vertical carpet stripes) and write words in the fresh carpet with their fingers. Many of you would like to imagine that this sent my mom over the edge, but to her credit, my mom has a great sense of humor and try as she might, she always thought it was funny too.
People still comment on her clean home. I think there is a contingent that refer to it as “the museum.” I didn’t get it then, but I get it now. I was ungrateful and judgmental and ungracious about many things my mom did not only for me, but the things she did for herself. The good thing is, I’m paying for it now. And as a bonus, I find vacuuming very soothing.
So much for not ranting on the blog. There is a reason they call me the Angry Baker.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
In my case, my messy house IS in fact a sign of a lazy person, but I’ve decided that the people who love me will love me despite (and possibly because of) my scattered ways and have stopped worrying about it. I absolutely love and envy your clean and organized house and talents – it’s good to have friends that inspire you.
I’m totally going for “because of” you scattered ways. And your incredible knowledge about statistics and methods. Ah, that knowledge came so easily to my lips!
I know you were ranting, but I had to laugh. Sorry. It was an amusing rant.
My house is clean every other Tuesday when the cleaning lady leaves. And then it’s a mess again by nightfall. I wish I had it in me to organize better than I do, but I don’t, and so I’ve let it go–not so much the house as my wish. And then every few days I hyperventilate when I walk into a room and realize, Holy crap, it got away from me. The room, the clutter, the crumbs on the sofa. How did CRUMBS get here. They’re not allowed here! And who is that child hiding under the pile of blankets and books? Call his mother and send him home.
Cleaning has always been therapy for me, so I find that the more well adjusted I am, the less I feel the need to clean (NOT a comment on those of you who are perfectly well adjusted and still maintain a clean house), and then… back to the hyperventilating. It’s an ugly cycle. And judging by the looks of my kitchen at this very moment, I must be SUPER well adjusted this week. If I knew how to keep my kids’ clutter limited to their rooms and playroom, I wouldn’t be so envious of the people who seem to have more control over their homes than I do.
That’s all it is, Angry Baker… envy that we cleaning-challenged people haven’t figured out how to have a life *and* a clean house. It really is a talent–one my husband would pay good money for me to learn.
It is laughable Bobbie. I do go through cycles too. The third kid forced me to relinquish my unattainable goals. There are even days that I let dishes stay in the sink until the end of the day! (Never overnight though – perish the thought). In another effort to prove I’m not crazy, I will always leave one thing undone if people are coming over. Well sometimes I do it and then have to make it look like I didn’t. Wait, did somebody say crazy?
Hey don’t apologize for that clean house, did you see “Hoarders” on TLC ? That IS crazy.
i love that show, i find it fascinating…
I’ve never seen it, but it gives me an anxiety attack just thinking about it.
I know Liz, it is so WEIRD, there should be a word that includes fascinating in a train wreck rubber neck kind of way. Did you see the episode with the single guy that finally decides to bring his girlfriend to his condo? They actually have to walk on the layers of stuff to just get around, (he must have been a “disorganized” hoarder) because they usually have goat paths thru the debris. OR, did you see the family that moved outside to live in tents because the Dad decides that is the way to starve out the bedbugs infesting the home. . . . . . . cringe…..
I LOVE a clean house. Sometimes I hate how much time I spend cleaning. Curtis would laugh if he knew I was placing myself in the category of those “clean” people. He’s way more anal than I am. (I still marvel at how he carefully wraps up the vacuum cord every time he uses it.)
But I can think more clearly when things are in order and a clean home just makes me happy. I tidy the house almost every night b/c nothing puts me in a more foul mood that waking up to dirty dishes (which happened for about a year when prego with Lucy and after she was just born). My favorite time of day to clean is right after the kids leave for school. Then I just get to enjoy the house for the day. Bummer for Curtis that he comes home after the after-school-dump!
Sometimes it feels like such a losing battle (the bathrooms are gross seriously 10 min after they’re cleaned- which is one of many reasons I would never pay a cleaning lady- I would just be yelling at everyone all the time for wasting my money!) But I think it’s a worthy battle. As a sidenote- the kids are really getting better at cleaning too. I dream of the day when I just hand out a list and it all gets finished… wait… that’s probably a fantasy. :O
Anyway, those haters are just jealous. It’s too much. Maybe they could put up with your house if you dressed more homely. Think about it
Remember when I diagnosed you with an anxiety disorder at church? In front of your friends? That’s what REAL friends do.
For the record, I love your clean house. I love when my house is clean too. A lot.
I was hoping next time you could mention the time I got arrested.
Oh, and I dedicate all of my blog swearing to you.
I use to be organized. Seriously, really organized and my bedroom was pristine. Not a thing out of place. Then I had children and what is my problem? My house looks like someone threw-up toys everywhere and I just get so sick and tired and lazy of doing something about it. I admit! My house is dirty and I am ashamed! For real! Please don’t judge me, but if you walked into my home right this minute, I would be so embarrassed. When I have cleaned the house, Daniel will ask if someone is coming over. And the answer to his question is always, “yes”. I like to call our house “fashionably cluttered”, but really that term is just to try and make me feel better.
honestly, now that i am a parent i get sick of people coming into my house and telling me that my house is not “child proofed”. well you know what, my child will learn how to live in my house. i dont need beat up couches for them to be able to jump on, or mom and dads action figures hidden so nobody touches them, they will learn….. i will MAKE them!!
I can say that I know you work your, um, butt off because I have done that for the last few weeks and I have thought about you a lot as I’ve done it. I am impressed at how un-lazy you are (unlike me) because it really is a lot of work each day. I have found that I really like having a clean house. Especially the main living areas. I happen to love organizing things and used to always have a totally neat room. I would go to the library and reorganize the children’s section. That’s a part of me I largely miss now, because it doesn’t make so much of an appearance. And I really need to work on having a sense of humor like your mom, because after all the cleaning the kids’ messes set me off really easily, and no one likes to live with a mom who approximates the wicked witch of the west.